Lately I’ve been reflecting on how often we allow people to intimidate and bully us. It’s hard to forgive someone or more then one person for a personal injustice that creates the environment for mental harm and low morale. I call these hostile dental working environments toxic waste.
New Dental Practices, New Beginnings
Whenever I reflect on forgiveness or true loss of personal power and energy, I immediately think of a dental job I had a few years ago. I regionally managed three dental offices that were owned by a dental management company.
I worked with dental management companies before who were supportive, so I came into this new situation with an element of excitement and eagerness. I also had brand new staff who were hired when I was which I saw as a good opportunity to grow the practices together right from the beginning.
However over time, it became quite obvious that the corporate office did not possess the support level as previous employers of mine had. The company believed in providing access to care, which it did.
But they forgot an important element of providing proper access to care, that patients are people you respect and build relationships with first. That the dental caregivers from clinic to front desk deserve respect and positive support in order to provide a comfortable and trusting environment for the patients as well as themselves.
However that did not happen with working with this dental management company. A hostile environment of fear and distrust polluted the atmosphere with lack of compassion and support for staff and patients. Patients were dollar signs and. managers with dental backgrounds were gradually replaced with people with strong sales background.
Assassins in Suit, High Heels, and Oxfords
Dentists were bullied and often did not have enough experience to work under such intense pressure to produce in high volume environments. Their support was not experienced dentists to mentor or mediate for them, but high pressure suits in high heels and oxfords who did not understand clinical and patient care. Dollar signs and bonuses for themselves were what mattered.
Eventually the corporate elite sent in the assassins using intimidation and bully actions as ammunition. Like a military covert action team, they stormed the dental centers bent on destroying the enemy which was us, the dental teams.
The dental teams that worked together so hard supporting patients as well as meeting or closely meeting collection and production goals were systematically eliminated in emotionally demoralizing ways. I was next with a built up scenario bent on cruel personal intimidation and insult.
Emotional and Physical Breakdowns
Dentists were let go, and those who made the cut left, mainly from severe emotional stress. The abusiveness of the injustice we tolerated for so for so long became cruelty in action during our termination processes. Many became embittered and distrustful of life and people and were emotionally scarred from their time there.
Some of us suffered emotional breakdowns and physical illness from the strain of working there. I was one of them. I emotionally broke which led to my developing Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia which I still struggle with today.
Choices of Anger or Healing
So, where does one go from there to the here and now? Well it’s a choice, do I stay and replay the past with revenge, or begin a process of slowly letting go of the past to allow emotional healing to begin? Do I embrace healing and moving forward in life, or choose to stay in a state of anger and revenge that spills over into my personal and professional life?
I chose to embrace emotional healing which is a process and also an awakening. An awakening of making a choice to forgive what happened to me so that I could heal.
As I made the decision to begin a journey of healing, I began to see the different phases I was going through in order to let go, forgive and begin the healing process.
Seven Steps to Forgiveness and Healing
As I began to move through each phase of forgiveness and healing, I became more aware of Who I Was and that I was meant to be more than a wounded person all my life. I was meant for greater things as we all are and I was tired of holding myself back with my anger and grief.
Below I have listed and described the seven phases that were the first steps for me on moving forward from the damage to myself from job termination to forgiveness and healing:First we must grieve for what we have lost which was our lives, friends, familiar routines, income and career.
- Then we can become victims to whatever has hurt us both past and present. Another wound can affect other unresolved wounds buried deep within us causing hemorrhaging of other broken and betrayed hearts. The “why me?” begins as well as self pity.
- Unresolved deep wounds and grievances only give power to weakness. Anger is a weakness, eventhough its fury may seem strong, its energy depleting as you give your personal power away through anger and revenge.
- The past has happened and cannot be reversed. Reliving a wounded past keeps one rooted in the past making it your present and preventing the future from happening.
- Those who have hurt you don’t care how you feel. They’ve moved on and probably forgot about you.
- Life is meant to keep moving forward. Time does not go backward, time does not stay still, and time flows with the rhythm of life.
- We affect the positive outcome of the future by hanging onto the past and ignoring the present. The Present is one of the Gifts given to us from the Spirit and meant to be opened Now to truly live our lives in meaningful and purposeful ways. To Be the Person You Were Meant to Be!
A Journey of Faith and Healing
I will be honest I still fight the anger and sarcasm I used to have for these former employers. But with time, my own spiritual awareness and awakening is helping me to see lessons I learned from it and to letting it go. I’m not 100% there yet, but getting close.
Spirit has blessed me with wonderful people who have helped me on this painful journey. It has become a continuing Journey of Faith and Healing that now encompasses all aspects of my life and career.
Healing, Personal Power and Life Purpose
Are you someone who has felt abused and used by employers and/or co-workers? Is your life feeling out of control or bitter to what has happened or is happening to you right now? Low moral, mental abuse and toxic environments are inappropriate abuses of power that is not to be tolerated. Let’s learn to our lives through o